February 15 - Hylie's "Perfect" Day

Just before the new year, I thought of an idea to let each person in the family have their very own "Perfect Day".  They would get to pick what was served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, pick 2 family activities and then 1 activity for just them or with the family.  I scheduled them on the calendar knowing if I didn't block them out at the beginning of the year, I would let everything else get in the way.  Hylie's perfect day was scheduled for Saturday, February 15th.  She was pretty excited to pick that she wanted NO piano practicing, an art project, and an obstacle course.  Her meals were pretty simple: waffles, macaroni and cheese (from a box!), and homemade pizza.  Sweet, I thought, this will be a breeze.

Meanwhile, I totally overbooked the week coming up to her perfect day.  I watched friend's children, I scheduled ministering appointments, I had Kyron's 1st birthday prep to do, helped Hylie make some valentines for her class, and Geoff and I also decided to take advantage of a free day at the Field Museum and take the kids on Friday when Hylie had no school.  Plus, some unscheduled things came up as well.  Eliana vomited a few times during the night on Wednesday, Lillian vomited Saturday morning, and hindsight I now believe Kyron vomited on Friday.  (He still can spit up quite a bit on some days, so I didn't think much of it when he lost his milk...but at the time I noticed a foul odor and kept wondering if his clothes smelled of sour milk or if I was just imagining things. Kyron's disposition never changed, he just kept playing, so I changed his clothes and figured all was well.)

By the time Hylie's perfect day came around, I. was. ex.haust.ed.  A family in the ward needed us to trade days to clean the chapel and Hylie was totally fine going to the church to clean on her special day.  I stayed home with Kyron and Lillian while Geoff took Hylie and Eliana to clean.  I wanted to do all the household chores while they were gone, but Lillian was not 100% and needing me and Kyron was getting in to everything, so getting anything done proved quite difficult.  I found myself getting frustrated.  I was not pleasant company and got agitated over the slightest things.

Fortunately, I had a fun time working with the girls on their art project.  They did a beautiful job creating a ballerina painting, and they were all very pleased with how it turned out.  

Geoff put together an obstacle course and we all went down to participate in the event.  Hylie LOVED the obstacles and after her run, Eliana took a turn.  She was almost done when she exclaimed, "I have to go to the bathroom!" Geoff and I told her in unison to run to the potty but as she yelled, "I can't!" I saw the pee running down her legs.  Great.  One more mess to clean up.

By dinner time, I was in tears.  I asked Hylie how she had felt about her 'perfect day' and was utterly shocked by her response, "I loved it!" But then she followed up with something I needed to hear, "Well, except for the arguing."  Yeah, guess who brought that on?  If I would have been able to keep my wits about me, then Hylie's day would have been, in her eyes, perfect. 

Recently I found a little quote I need to be reminded of hourly, "Your kids don't want a perfect mom, they want a happy mom."  I definitely was a far cry from either that day.   Truly, I have been trying very hard to be a more present, happy mom.  If anything, I hope my kids feel the love I have for them and that my good, happy days outshine my terrible, no good, very bad, horrible days.  One thing is for sure, my happy days definitely outnumber the bad days.  No day is perfect, but many are happy and I hope my kids remember that.  I also hope that in the future when so many things turn upside-down, I will be better about showing my children how we have complete control over how we respond to things, that it's better to laugh through life than to become weighed down.  But also, I want my kids to know of the beauty of second chances--that we can be better, we can be happy, tomorrow.