Just before
the new year, I thought of an idea to let each person in the family have their
very own "Perfect Day". They would get to pick what was served
for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, pick 2 family activities and then 1 activity
for just them or with the family. I scheduled them on the calendar
knowing if I didn't block them out at the beginning of the year, I would let
everything else get in the way. Hylie's perfect day was scheduled for
Saturday, February 15th. She was pretty excited to pick that she wanted
NO piano practicing, an art project, and an obstacle course. Her meals
were pretty simple: waffles, macaroni and cheese (from a box!), and homemade
pizza. Sweet, I thought, this will be a breeze.
Meanwhile,
I totally overbooked the week coming up to her perfect day. I watched
friend's children, I scheduled ministering appointments, I had Kyron's 1st
birthday prep to do, helped Hylie make some valentines for her class, and Geoff
and I also decided to take advantage of a free day at the Field Museum and take
the kids on Friday when Hylie had no school. Plus, some unscheduled
things came up as well. Eliana vomited a few times during the night on
Wednesday, Lillian vomited Saturday morning, and hindsight I now believe Kyron
vomited on Friday. (He still can spit up quite a bit on some days, so I
didn't think much of it when he lost his milk...but at the time I noticed a
foul odor and kept wondering if his clothes smelled of sour milk or if I was
just imagining things. Kyron's disposition never changed, he just kept playing,
so I changed his clothes and figured all was well.)
By the time
Hylie's perfect day came around, I. was. ex.haust.ed. A family in the
ward needed us to trade days to clean the chapel and Hylie was totally fine
going to the church to clean on her special day. I stayed home with Kyron
and Lillian while Geoff took Hylie and Eliana to clean. I wanted to do
all the household chores while they were gone, but Lillian was not 100% and
needing me and Kyron was getting in to everything, so getting anything done
proved quite difficult. I found myself getting frustrated. I was
not pleasant company and got agitated over the slightest things.
Fortunately,
I had a fun time working with the girls on their art project. They did a
beautiful job creating a ballerina painting, and they were all very pleased
with how it turned out.
Geoff put
together an obstacle course and we all went down to participate in the
event. Hylie LOVED the obstacles and after her run, Eliana took a
turn. She was almost done when she exclaimed, "I have to go to the
bathroom!" Geoff and I told her in unison to run to the potty but as she
yelled, "I can't!" I saw the pee running down her legs.
Great. One more mess to clean up.
By dinner
time, I was in tears. I asked Hylie how she had felt about her 'perfect
day' and was utterly shocked by her response, "I loved it!" But then
she followed up with something I needed to hear, "Well, except for the
arguing." Yeah, guess who brought that on? If I would have
been able to keep my wits about me, then Hylie's day would have been, in her
eyes, perfect.
Recently I
found a little quote I need to be reminded of hourly, "Your kids don't
want a perfect mom, they want a happy mom." I definitely was a far
cry from either that day. Truly, I have been trying very hard to be
a more present, happy mom. If anything, I hope my kids feel the love I
have for them and that my good, happy days outshine my
terrible, no good, very bad, horrible days. One thing is for sure, my
happy days definitely outnumber the bad days. No day is
perfect, but many are happy and I hope my kids remember that. I also hope
that in the future when so many things turn upside-down, I will be better about
showing my children how we have complete control over how we respond to things,
that it's better to laugh through life than to become weighed down. But
also, I want my kids to know of the beauty of second chances--that we can be
better, we can be happy, tomorrow.
